4/23 Activity 3

The particular passage that I have previously written that I will be revising into a more formal piece will be an e-mail that I sent to a lawyer who, after giving him and his son a tour of the WVU campus, gave me his card and explained that if I ever had any questions or concerns with law school to shoot him and e-mail or give him a call.



Original Passage:



Mr. Cosenza,

It's Austin Maynard, your tour guide from your visit to WVU. I know it's been awhile since you and Nicholas came on tour with me, but I hope things are well and any other college visits you guys are making are going smooth! You gave me your card after tour and explained to me that if I had any questions concerning law school or the like that I could contact you, so I was hoping to take advantage of that if you are still open to the idea.



My main questions have to deal with preparations for law school. Was there any specific internships/job shadowing you did before attending law school? Did you take any prep courses like the ones that Kaplan offers for examples, before taking the LSAT? I am currently enrolled in one that will begin this Thursday, the 9th, and I hope that it increases my confidence about taking the test this June! Basically any knowledge or feedback you could pass along to me would be greatly appreciated and I am excited to hear back from you! Lastly, if it is alright with you, I would like to hold onto your card and contact information in case I were to run into any other questions or concerns concerning law school, and also just to have for my future in general. Again, thank you for your time and if you or Nicholas have any other questions or interests in anything affiliated with WVU, please let me know!



-Austin Maynard





Formal Revision:



Dear Mr. George Cosenza,



My name is Austin Maynard and I was your tour guide when you came to visit the campus of West Virginia University with your son Nicholas on the morning of February the 19th. I hope you both found the tour to be helpful in your goal to find the right college environment for Nicholas and that West Virginia University filled that objective. I apologize for the time difference between your tour and this e-mail but I hope that you are still available to me as a guide to the obstacles of law school. I only have a few concerns and I would greatly appreciate it if you would provide me with any and all feedback you find necessary in being able to aid my pre-law issues.



My main concern to date is the preperations that many students take before entering into the law school application process. What advice would you give to a student interested in attending law school with just about a year left of undergrad? This could include any internships or prep-courses or even methods of studying for the LSAT. I am currently enrolled in the Kaplan LSAT prep-course here in Morgantown but I know this is only one step in being adequately prepared for taking the test and then applying to schools, a process that I am aware of being long and tedious.

I also hope that you will allow me to keep your contact information and be able to stay in touch with you throughout this process and perhaps through my years of Law School. I know a large portion of law can come down to "who you know" and I feel as though you would make a great addition to my networking circle. Thank you very much for taking the time to read through this correspondence. I appreciate any and all help that you can provide me and I hope to hear from you soon. Lastly, if you or Nicholas have any more questions or concerns about West Virginia University or anything affiliated with it, please do not hesitate to ask me for any help that I can extend to you both.

Sincerely,

Austin Maynard
amaynard@mix.wvu.edu
(304) 680-3058